BLOG HISTORY
IGNORANCE & VAIN
October 1, 2014 Wednesday
So what you get
drunk
Tough blog today. If you hate me after this, join the club
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
I have had a difficult past few days. It all started over this past weekend and I have been wanting to say something but every time I would write something, it came out more in anger than anything else.
Hopefully, this time around it will be more correcting and not hurtful or judgmental. It may not be something easy for you to read or to hear, especially if you are very attached to what I am going to talk about.
I do not write these things to make you feel bad or to make it seem like I am better than anyone else. I have my own struggles, I share them on here often. This blog has become an open book into my life.
I write them because I know what kind of a difference they can make in your life. Do you remember the point of this blog? To make your life something beautiful? Something that you enjoy? Well, that is what I am trying to do. Please keep that in mind as you read this.
For the past few days, I have had a difficult time. It seems like I have been repeatedly confronted with people who choose to be ignorant in some very key areas of their life and choose to follow vain pursuits instead of something worthwhile and lasting. I have had to hold my tongue on so many occasions that I just am tired of talking to people at this point. Its not that these are new things but I guess I am becoming less tolerable about them because I understand their consequences on a deeper level than I had before.
I am not going to go into a big argumentative essay or spark a debate. I am going to state it flat out and if you have ears to hear, then please listen carefully. If you choose to remain ignorant, all I can say is I told you so.
The choice is yours.
So what you get drunk. So what you get high. So you live to eat. So you live a shallow life.
When you spend your time getting wasted and getting high, you are wasting precious hours of your life that you could be using to move your life or the lives of others to a better place. You are destroying brain cells. You are killing yourself and organs in your body slowly, and sometimes not so slowly.
Whoever told you this was the cool thing to do, was a straight out fool and was lying to you. If you engage in these “activities” to get away from something, you are not escaping you are making matters worse for yourself and when you get out of your high or drunken state, your problem is still there staring you in the face. No problem solved.
Food ... touchy subject that we have expounded on greatly. Still people refuse to listen because they cannot give up their precious foods. They do not want to believe that is bad for them and that are things inside of the majority of the foods that we eat that are not good for your body at all. These things actually have been proven to cause many of the health problems that our world is now facing.
Please do not be ignorant. Food does affect your health way one way or the other. Do the research for yourself.
The last thing that has really been grating on me are the people that choose to chase after shallow things and choose to talk about vain topics. We all do this on occasion but those that live this way, do you not understand there are so many more important things to live for than a big butt and the next party?
Where are your goals? What are your dreams? What do you want to do with your life? More likely than not, these topics that I discussed above are hindering you from really pursuing what you want to do. Are you going to let them hold you back or are you going to step it up and live with purpose on purpose.
The choice is yours.
I have given you the understanding, what will you do with it?
LIFE Vs. LIE
October 2, 2014 Thursday
Which one are you
living?
There is only one difference between living your life and living a lie. The difference is in the “F.”
It may seem like a small, insignificant letter. But what it stands for holds so much power. The F in life stands for Freedom. You are either living your life in freedom or you are living a lie (or multiple lies).
Honestly, I could go on for days about this topic and maybe I will :)
Today I am just going to explain the difference between living a lie and living life. To be truthful, most of us are living lies. I know that as I was thinking about writing this today, I was thoroughly examining my own life and pinpointing places where I had been living a lie before, places where it seems I sometimes struggle with a lie and places where I still need freedom from a lie.
I do not know that anyone could say they are living in complete freedom all the time. To do that would mean they are perfect, and Jesus was the only perfect human, so they are obviously lying.
The truth is, you've been given a beautiful life, don't waste it on lies
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
These are some of the different areas that people are living a lie:
1. Money - this one has created a whole bunch of lies that include but are not limited to: greed, debt, poverty, prejudice, burglary, etc ...
2. The “perfect” body - which includes: eating disorders, self-obsession, jealousy, self-hate, selfishness, etc ...
3. Cultural norm - “everybody is doing it so you should too” frame of mind: gluttony, debauchery, adultery, promiscuity, cheating (in more than one way), etc ...
4. Falling “in” and “out” of love - what I am referring to here is what people think love is vs. what it actually is: heartbreak, divorce, multiple partners, confusion with sexuality, broken families, suicide, etc ...
I could go on and on because there are a lot of lies out there set up to trap us so that we do not live life but instead live lies.
If you have a few minutes to spare today, think about your life. What things do you believe about yourself, your family, your jobs, your relationships? Now ask yourself, which of these things is actually truth and which of these things, that you have chosen to believe, is actually a lie?
The truth is, you do not need the newest car and iPhone 6 to get ahead in life. It will get you behind in debt. The truth is, you are beautiful just the way God made you. There is nothing you need to change about yourself, except to start loving you as you. The truth is, living outside of the cultural norm saves you money, saves your health and saves your heart. The truth is, your worth is not found in man or woman. Your worth can only be found in God. There is no such thing as falling in or out of love. Love is a choice. Love is something you have to work at and fight for.
Maybe I will expound on this topic more over the next few days, this is some good stuff. I hope you were able to see the difference between the truth and the lies and maybe even start to replace some of those lies for some real life living freedom.
CONVERSATION W GOD
October 3, 4 & 5, 2014 Friday-Sunday
Fix my
eyes
on you
Friday was my last day at work. It was the finale. It marked the end of this chapter. The beginning of the great unknown.
It was a pretty hard day for me. I had to say good bye, until we meet again, to some people that I have grown very close to. Some people that have become really great friends that I feel I can share things with. They understand me (sometimes). They get my dreams and they let me go so that I could chase after them.
It hurt because my heart had opened so widely to them. I love them very deeply. I will stay a part of their lives but it will not be the same. As much as I love change, I hate it because it means that the things you love will never be the same.
Realization set in as I found that I am now on my own. There is something about working with people. You become a community. You become friends, family even.
So to say the least, I was a wreck Friday night as I cried myself to sleep. Saturday morning was not much better as my heart was still torn and bleeding. But I knew that I needed to spend time with my Father, God. So Saturday, during the day, instead of packing for my upcoming trip, I just rest in him for a few hours.
Woah! Look at those eyes.
Let's get them off myself and focused on God ...
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
I will get very open with you and share what he said to you. Maybe it will speak to you or stir something inside of you. Here is what God spoke to my heart as he quieted the storm that was raging inside of me:
“Is this not what you wanted? Did you not ask to go deeper in me? I am taking you deeper. This is part of the journey.
Is this not what I have made you for? What you are destined for? What I placed inside of you at a young age? You were not made to build up other people’s kingdoms. You were made to build up mine. You were made to follow my voice, my lead. Going where I tell you to go and doing what I tell you to do. Your heart has been to serve me. How can it when it is busy serving everyone else?
It is your turn to arise and pursue what I have laid on your heart. These dreams and desires have come from me. Rest in me. Let me show you how I will bring them about.
Count it joy when you endure testing. Testing brings forth patience. Let patience have it’s perfect work that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
Rest in me. Thank me. Allow this work to go through to completion. It is in my hands. All of it. Every single thing. All you need to do is trust and rest in me.
I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in the right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run you will not stumble.
Your path is like the shining of the sun that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.
Let your eyes look straight ahead and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left, remove your foot from evil.
Your life is mine. Let me do with it as I please. I will use you to shake history. To shake the world and all it knows. It is time for the world to know me as you know me.
You are a light, fragrance of Christ; changing the atmosphere.
The world will watch you burn. You are a sign and a wonder.”
After the time in His presence, there was no longer a need for tears. I realized that I had my eyes on myself again for too long. I got lost in the stress and the worry. I forgot how much my God loves me. I forgot how much I love him. And that is all I needed to remember.
As I begin this new journey, I will remember his love. No more fear. No more worrying. No more constant questioning.
Let’s dive into the great unknown. He loves me. He loves you. He is with us every step of the way.
WHY THE LIES?
October 7, 2014 Tuesday
When you live in lies and you do not know who you are, most of the time you do not think you can do anything. You believe that you are not worth anything. You think so lowly of yourself, often to the point of hating yourself or parts of yourself.
Lies block us from living in fullness. In completion. Lies keep us from our purpose and our destiny.
There are so many lies out there. So many people that have fallen for the lies. It is hard not to fall into the lies. It is hard to see the truth in the midst of all the lies. I know I have had a hard time with it.
When I did finally see the truth, it is hard showing others that are wrapped up in lies; that they are living lies instead of life. Hopefully, you can see the truth.
Life is so much more beautiful and exciting and worthwhile when we are not so wrapped up in the lies.
Lies place boundaries on you, like this black frame does to the picture... stuck in a box
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
How are you beautiful ladies doing? I am good and I am over the pity party now. Finally. I try not to stay in those things too long because they can suck me in without any warning.
So, let’s get back to the topic of life and lies. Why the lies? Where do they originate from? What does it all mean?
Well, if we are going to be completely honest. The lies are there to distract us and keep us from the truth of who we really are. When we know who we really are, we reach a new power in life and are able to change our world. We are able to be a light, shining example to others. We realize that we even have the potential to change the world.
I am not trying to feed you some crazy doctrine or whatever. That is what the lies do lol. But when we see ourselves for who we really are, we see all of our untapped potential. It is almost like waking up and realizing you are a superhero. I haven’t learned to fly yet, though lol.
Reach
your
potential
MODELING IN THE SOUTH
October 12, 2014 Sunday
Here's
to
LIFE
I also modeled for Chico’s, Claudia’s swimwear and a few other designers.
The shows started on Thursday and we did three shows that day. I had to leave on Friday but I did get to do the first show before I left town.
The ladies from Florida Technical School did our hair and makeup. They were super sweet. They kept gushing over how perfect my hair and skin are. They said that I had the perfect shape of eyes. They figured out that I look like Elsa, from Frozen, so the second day, they did my hair and makeup just like hers. Then everyone wanted to take pictures of me because they thought I was the human Elsa. And they told me I should walk over to Disney World and take over my kingdom. LOL
The other girls that were there modeling and helping backstage where all really sweet too. They all were super fun and we became friends quickly.
Needless to say, it was a blast. It was super crazy. During the shows, I had to fly like the wind and change my clothes in the flash of lightening backstage. Then saunter slowly and strut my stuff once I hit the stage. But that is the runway for you and I love it <3
That was trip to Orlando for modeling. Friday around 1:30pm, I left Orlando and came straight to Atlanta, Georgia.
More on that story tomorrow ... Good night Beautiful
Me with two of the other beautiful models I got to work with earlier this past week
Photo of Alex, Karissa Hagemeister, & Jessica
Hi Beautiful!! I am sorry that I have not been able to blog in a while. I have been going nonstop for about 5 days now.
My travels started in Orlando for the Southern Women’s Show on Wednesday of this past week. We started with fittings and practice late into the night. The show was held at the Orange County Convention Center.
I had never been there before. That place is huge and kind of overwhelming. Especially since I was there by myself. But they have three concourses - North, South and West. It is kind of like an airport without airplanes. I found where I was supposed to be and I parked a ways away because paying for parking is ridiculous.
I cannot remember all of the designers that I modeled for. But I was chosen by every one of them. One designer only picked two models for her four outfits. So me and this girl named Krissa (funny, right?) modeled the 4 dresses for her. So we had to do a quick change. Her line is called Hadascha and it is designer resort wear.
Starting at Top Left: the stage, the entrance to the show, me without makeup, me with my first look on Thursday. Bottom Left: Me with my hair and make up stylists, one of the outfits I modeled, the group of models and helpers, and Friday's hair and make up.
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
October 13, 2014 Monday
I can't wait to be on the road again
Him and his wife open their home up to many, many actors and models that need a place to stay while they are in the Atlanta area working on gigs. Once I made it in, I met him, his wife, their two teenage children and their three cats. Shortly after I arrived, five more actors and crew arrived because they were staying the night there as well.
I would have liked to have went to bed early but I did not want to appear rude to all of these new people I would be meeting and working with.
I think we all made it to bed around or shortly after midnight. Which was pretty difficult for me since I had just finished three pretty intense days of activities. A long day and a late night.
But come Saturday morning, we were up early, before it was even bright outside. Call time on set was 6:30 am. So I was up at 6, searching for the coffee ...
Story will continue tomorrow. As for me, it has been another adventurous day and I am going to head to bed.
Good night beautiful!
After 7 hours of driving ... in a gas station bathroom :0
Photo Karissa Hagemeister
I hope that all you beautiful people had a great day off from work and if you had to work today, I hope it was just as beautiful.
Today I will continue to share about the adventures of my new traveling life. So Friday afternoon, I started off on my own, driving from Orlando to Atlanta. It took almost 8 hours to get there. For the majority of the time I was bored. The rest of the time I jammed out to Christmas music and talked to my dad on my cell.
The miraculous part of the whole thing is that I made it that far (453 miles) on one tank of gas, $50. I am pretty sure that is not normal for my car but God knew that I had $0 in my bank account. So that was a HUGE blessing.
The exciting part of this trip is that I am staying with a family that I have never met before, at least in person. I am friends with the father on facebook and we have done some different projects together before.
Starting at the left: me peacin' out of Orlando, beginning the road trip. Middle: Scary Indian blocking the entrance to the women's bathroom at a gas station. Right: Arriving after my 7-8 hour journey.
ON SET
October 15, 2014 Wednesday
AND ....
Action!
However, I was super exhausted and my energy was drained before I even woke up. So I didn't feel like I was much help but I tried to keep myself with it.
We had a few breaks to eat, a few breaks as we waited because of some technical difficulties. But we went straight through with shooting and finally had wrap up by midnight. So it ended up being a 17 hour day of filming for all of us.
We all were quiet tired by the end of it. I passed out as soon as I hit the bed.
It was a great experience. I am really glad that I was able to be a part of it. Not the first time I have done wardrobe design for a film project and I'm sure it won't be the last.
We were already discussing making more series for this tv show so it won't be long until I get back at it with this crew.
I am hanging out in Atlanta for the rest of the week because next weekend I am doing some wardrobe design for the Atlanta Film Festival and possibly some acting too.
I will keep you updated on the many more adventures I take. Love you, beautiful ...
Hanging out on set with my AMTC friend
Photo of Trinity & Karissa Hagemeister
Saturday morning was my first time on set for filming something other than a commercial. We were filming a tv show pilot. A pilot is like a preview to a tv show that could move forward into production if it is liked, approved and would draw an audience.
The tv show is called Daily Battles. You can go on YouTube and check out an earlier version that has been made years ago.
I worked as the wardrobe designer. Most of that work was done beforehand. So I ended up doing some extra behind the scenes work. I helped with the makeup for some of the actors. I was the props manager. I even got to hold the boom mic for some scenes. Not that that is a privilege but it was fun getting the different experiences of being on set.
It was so much fun being a part of the crew and networking with all the people that were there.
Behind the scenes of Daily Battles tv show. Filmed at two locations: a church in Atlanta, GA and my good friend, Dennis', house.
TGIF
October 17, 2014 Friday
Be thankful for all the litte things
Enjoying the great Atlanta Autumn outdoors
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
It is Friday afternoon. I find myself enjoying a cup of black coffee and the Atlanta fall breeze as it drifts into the house.
I am staying with some AMTC friends that have opened their house up to me for this whole week. I leave Monday to head back to my house.
I have been thinking a lot. About my new life. My old life. Life in general. It is a crazy thing. There are constantly new chapters in life. Many people do not like change. I love the thought of change. But when change does come it is often scary.
There have been many scary, unfamiliar things that have happened in this new part of my life. I know it is just the beginning of them. Many times those scary things make me want to complain. They make me yearn for the life that I used to have. It was comfortable. Safe.
This is uncomfortable. It does not feel safe. Because I am not in control. But in the midst of all the unknown, the thing that keeps me moving forward is remembering to be thankful for all that I have in the moment.
Today I am thankful for: the beautiful fall weather here in Atlanta that I get to enjoy. The leaves that are changing brilliant colors. The chipmunks that I seen earlier playing in the leaves. The wonderful family that opened their house to me. The three beautiful kitties that I get to snuggle with that live in this house. Food to eat and great coffee to drink. A chance to relax and breathe before the crazy starts up again.
You see, too many times, I can get caught up in seeing all the things that are wrong or different from what I want them to be or from what they used to be. I forget to be thankful for the things that are right in front of me. The many blessings that God has placed in my life.
Thank God it’s Friday but remember, beautiful, to thank God for all the little things as well ...
Taking a hike through the woods and enjoying the beauty and the beautiful weather that God made.
ADVENTURES IN ATL
October 22, 2014 Wednesday
Life
is an
adventure
Got to carve my 1st pumpkin in ATL, Cat on the Moon
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister & her pumpkin
Well, my adventures in Atlanta have come to a close for now. It was a very exciting, action packed ten days.
There were many exciting things that I had the chance to be a part of. There was not enough sleep, an overabundance of excitement and plenty of people to keep me occupied.
I have been back home for a few days now but I have had to step back from the chaos so that I can re-coop before I begin again. It has been nice to sleep in my room, get back on my healthy lifestyle and running routines, spend time with my family. Today I ventured out and seen some of my friends.
My last full day in Atlanta was spent on set filming for the Atlanta Film Festival. Each group was given 48 hours to put a script together based on their chosen topic, act it out and produce it. Our topic was on Frankenstein.
I actually was a background actor for this. That means that I did not have any lines but I did get to scream a lot and use my awesome facial expressions.
The morning that I left, I had the opportunity to see my cousin, Justin, that I have not seen in at least 13 years. He lives in the Midwest but it just so happened that we both were in Atlanta. That was a great highlight of my journey.
So like I said, there was plenty of adventure and excitement. There were also lessons I learned about myself and experience that I gained from being on set.
One thing is for sure, I need to have a space of my own when I travel like this because being around people constantly drains me quicker than anything. I need to have space to reboot my energy and keep myself on track. The life of an introvert ... sigh.
Well, my adventures begin again on Friday. I take off for Central Florida again. This time I will be attending my university alumni’s first ever homecoming football game. I also have a few different runway auditions that I can choose from, one in Tampa, the other is close to Miami. What will I do?? Find out in a later blog :)
I hope your week has been beautiful, beautiful.
Left: Some of my awesome AMTC friends before we went on a non-spooky, historical cemetery walk. Middle: an old mill that captured my eye by Fayetteville. Right: My cousin that I have not seen in 13 years, ready to join the modeling world with me.
EYES OFF ME
October 28, 2014 Tuesday
Focus on someone other than me
I guess it is easy for me to lose sight of what is important. I get so wrapped up in being, in doing that I forget that I am not here for myself.
I am here for my family. I am here for my friends. For friends I haven’t met yet. Strangers. For you.
I think it makes it easier when I get my eyes off from myself, my failures, my flaws and remember that I was put on this earth to be a light and to be love to the hurting people that are out there.
I hope that someday soon I will really learn to live this constantly and maybe God will use me in a big way to love the people of this world and make a difference.
But I know that as long as my eyes are on myself, nothing will happen.
I know that I am not the only one that gets their eyes stuck on themselves. But I do not think that many of them know how great it feels to get their eyes on something other than their failures and feelings. To reach out and help someone else in need.
When this happens, suddenly our problems are much smaller ...
Need to step out of my on little kingdom to realize there is life all around
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister & Disney Store castle
I’ve noticed that I go through stages. I get so involved in the things that I am doing and stay focused on them. Pushing through. Getting it done. Accomplishing.
This is what I love. This is what I live for. The next adventure. The next challenge.
When I am going through this, my eyes are so focused on myself. What can I do? How much can I accomplish?
But being human, it is not long until I let myself down. Often, I even get so stuck on myself that my mood gets down when this happens.
I know better than to keep my eyes on myself. But for some reason, I always fall back into that. Maybe because I am by myself all the time and I am the only one that I know so well.
VALLEY LOW
October 30, 2014 Thursday
Enjoy
the
valleys
Walking through life we climb mountains, ruffing the terrain, cutting our hands, getting dirty and pushing through to the other side.
Once we have made it over the mountain, we often find ourselves in the valley. After all that hard work and determination we needed to get over the mountain, going through the valley just does not feel right.
There are no rocks to climb over. In the valley, you can lay down and rest. You can run, without much obstacles in the way.
But when we are walking in the valley, we can feel low. The resting can make us feel lazy, useless. Maybe we missed something. Is this the way it should be? Should it be this easy?
So we make the valleys a hard place when they are meant to be a place of rest, a reward for making it over the mountains.
Take a break, you just made it over the mountain
Photo by Karissa Hagemeister
Instead of basking in the rest, we get ourselves depressed, worked up or we try to create obstacles so that we feel we are doing something.
Why do we do this to ourselves? I wish I could stop myself once I have made it over the mountain and remind myself that it is okay to relax. It is okay to live without the craziness, the noise, and the constant moving forward.
You don’t have to keep pushing. There is nothing to push. You just have to relax. Get rest before you make it to the next mountain.
When the next mountain comes, if we do not rest and unwind in the valley, the next mountain will be harder to climb. Making it almost impossible to make it. Hello, mental breakdown.
I don’t want to do that to myself anymore. Just as the mountains in life are beautiful because they teach us and cause us to grow. Valleys are beautiful because they allow to stop and smell the roses, to take a break and enjoy living.
