BLOG HISTORY
LOVE IS ...
February 1, 2015 Sunday
Love is in the air ... so is red, pink and HEARTS
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
What
is
love?
Hello Beautiful,
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Along with it comes feelings of love, hearts, loneliness, red and pink and so much more.
What do we really know about love? Well for starters, there are different kinds of love. Most of us think love is all about our feelings and emotions. When we have “love” based on feelings, it does not last. Feelings do not last. In fact, they change often.
Love has to be built on something deeper, something stronger than feelings that change with the wind. Love has to be a choice and it has to be an action.
There is a passage that I read often that describes love in the most perfect form that it could ever be. We will break this passage down through this month and maybe learn a thing or two about what love really is.
The love passage: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Today we will cover the first two things that this love passage covers:
-
Love is Patient. When you love someone, you wait for them to get to where they need to be to love you back. When you love someone, you allow them the time and space they need to grow and learn. Love is not demanding. Love accepts the fact that none of us are perfect. Love knows that we are not all the same in our personalities, thoughts and actions. Love continues to love even when it is not returned, until it is returned.
-
Love is Kind. Loving is caring. Showing that you care. Doing what you can for those that you love. Taking the extra step. Going the extra mile. Giving them the last bite. The shirt off your back. Love is kind to all.
As we take apart “love” one blog at a time, we should concentrate on these things and examine our lives. How are we loving? What do we need to work on? How can we implement these things into our lives and love others more deeply?
Well, Happy Superbowl Sunday!! Let’s really start loving, beautiful.
ENVIOUS & BOASTFUL
February 3, 2015 Tuesday
What good is a beautiful face with an ugly heart??
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
Love does not envy. It does not boast.
1 Corinthian 13:4
The next two segments of our “love” month topic explain what love is not.
Love does not ENVY. It is not a competition between friends and family. I have to be smaller or prettier than them. They have more money than me, a nicer car and a bigger house. NO! Love does not look at those things. It sees the person for who they are. It cherishes them for who they are not for what they have and what they can give you. There will always be someone better and greater than you. What good does envying them and lusting after what they have do for you? Nothing. It makes you bitter, angry and resentful. Let’s see some love, beautiful.
Love does not BOAST. So you have an expensive car, a boat, a mansion. I am so happy for you. That is a wonderful thing, a great blessing. But there is no reason to rub it anyone’s face. Once again, life is not a competition. It is about loving one another and being loved. Things are wonderful, looks are fabulous but none of it will last. What lasts is love. There is a proverb that says, do not boast about tomorrow for tomorrow may not come. The same can be said about things. Do not boast about things because they can be here one day and gone the next. Life is but a vapor. Nothing that you have in this life will be with you when you pass over.
None of this “stuff” matters. What matters is the condition of your heart. We are each accountable for the condition of our own hearts. Is your heart filled with love for others? For the hungry? For the broken? Or is it too caught up in itself? What it wants? What it has? What others have?
Are you helping people because you plan to get something out of it? Or are you helping them because you care for them and want them to grow, succeed, flourish? What is the ulterior motive behind the things you do? Are you saying one thing, but thinking another?
I am guilty of being envious and of boasting. I will never pretend that I am perfect. But I also understand the importance of examining my heart, regularly. And trying to work on the ugly that I find there. What good is a beautiful face with an ugly heart?
What
love is
not ...
PROUD & RUDE
February 5, 2015 Thursday
That is kind of a rude face I have going on there ...
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
Do you feel loved when people act rude to you, bossing you around, being pushy, trying to control you? Or how about when all they can talk about is themselves and how great they are, do you feel loved than?
Neither do I. If we profess that we love someone, whether a significant other or a friend, how can we in turn treat them as trash and act as if we are higher than they are in some way or another?
The next two LOVE topics for this month are (continuing with the passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8):
1. Love is not PROUD - When we love someone, we should never think of ourselves higher or greater than them in anyway.
When you do start seeing yourself as that, you start moving away from loving them and moving into obsession with yourself. It is one thing having an ego, I know it is important for men to have those. It is one thing to care about and think kindly of yourself. But when you start putting people on a scale, with you at the top and everyone else below, you have created a lonely world with you as your god. We are all equal. It is important to treat everyone that way.
2. Love is not RUDE - If you love someone, why would you treat them badly? It always breaks my heart when I do something that I do not realize would be rude or hurtful to one of my family members or friends and then I see the hurt in their eyes. It makes me want to beat myself up. But I think if we are really loving someone, we would not treat them rudely on purpose. We often do things without thinking or realizing the effect it has on others. Maybe we just need to check ourselves before we speak or do things to those we love.
Let us keep ourselves in check. Check our attitudes, our motives and be cautious not to let out our stress and pain on those we love. Love beautifully, my dear.
Watch
your
attitude
AM I SELFISH?
February 7, 2015 Saturday
Act out love
Photo by Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
What does it mean to be selfish in a relationship? What does selfless love actually look like?
The first question should be easy to answer but the second one, I am not so sure. It is hard to think of examples that I have seen where someone loves another and serves them out of pure love, no personal motives attached.
We always want something when we give something or do something for another. Even in situations where the person cannot give back (helping at a soup kitchen, spending time with orphans, adopting a pet, ...) we do things because it makes us feel good about ourselves or maybe we do it because we know someone is watching and we want to look good.
Sometimes the selfish desires are under the surface, subconscious. We do not realize we are doing something because of a selfish need or want. With me, I love to do things around the house to help out my mom. But behind it all, I am really doing those things so that she will have more free time and I am selfishly hoping she will spend it with me. It hardly ever works out in my favor though because someone always comes along and usurps her attention away from me.
Another example, the first guy that came along after I graduated college in 2010, got all of my attention and devotion. I did not realize it than but I did not really love him. I wanted to be loved and I wanted to get married. He had ulterior motives as well, but you get where I am going.
Love is not Self-Seeking.
1 Corinthians 13:5
How can we love without having some kind of hidden motive or agenda behind what we do and say? We can set aside our own plans, schedules and the things we feel entitled to for the good of another. We can allow ourselves to become uncomfortable. We can love them in the way they need it, not in the way we need it or want to give it.
As humans, we are constantly looking to ourselves, our needs, our desires, our wants. To love, is to lay aside those desires and look at what the other person is desiring.
Love them their
way
ANGRY?
February 9, 2015 Monday
Great news!! Spring is here and so is Kingdom Dezigns new looks
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
The opposite of smiling is frowning. The opposite of happy is sad. The opposite of love is hate. When you hate something, you get angry. It brings on that emotion.
So if hatred brings on anger, what kind of emotion does love bring forth?
1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love is slow to anger. It is not saying that we will not get angry when we love. Sometimes when we love we do get angry because of multiple reasons, whether it be disappointment, unmet expectations, etc ...
We are not to beat ourselves up when we get angry with someone we love. But we are to catch it and not allow it to grow. We cannot feed anger because it can quickly turn into an ugly, huge monster of hate.
Once again, I tell you to be mindful of your feelings, thoughts, actions. If you think there is anger arousing over an issue, confront it before it eats at you. It is easy for us to get upset over so many little things. That can turn into a huge problem for us. Be mindful and be slow at becoming angry.
Another key point that we should state here is: if something does happen, that creates a rift or causes you to become angry, it is important for us to forgive that person, that situation quickly.
Unforgiveness can cause so many problems in so many parts of our life. Forgive, be quick to love and slow to hurt, beautiful.
Be slow
to
anger
KEEPING SCORE
February 11, 2015 Wednesday
Love does not keep track of wrongs done against us ...
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
I’ve always been entertained by people that keep score of all the good things they do, the brownie points they earn. Sometimes they are competing with friends, trying to earn more points. Sometimes they are just doing it for fun.
There is another group of people that keep score. They are keeping score of all the things you said or did that hurt them, angered them, slighted them or rejected them. They hold it against you, bringing it up on many occasions: to get what they want, to remind you that you are scum, to lord it over you.
Sadly, I have a downfall in this area. My brain remembers everything that people tell me, everything that happens to me. Not only does it remember them but it brings it up when people hurt me, again. When I was younger, I used to hold those things against people and sometimes rub it in their face.
As I have gotten older, I still get the special reminders in my brain but I no longer act upon them. I acknowledge that, yes, those things did happen. But that is in the past. I choose not to live in the past. So I forgive what has been done. Move on and allow the person to show me that they have changed. If they haven’t, I love them still, knowing that I have changed.
1 Corinthians 13:5 says “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
So, to love someone is to forgive them of their past mistakes, failures, flaws. It doesn’t mean that you will automatically forget them but it means you will not allow them to affect your friendships and relationships.
If you have a problem with digging up dead bones for all to see, think about it as if you were on the receiving end. How would you like it if someone was constantly presenting your past mess-ups to you and others? They were never letting you live them down? You would get really tired of being around that person and eventually find a way to remove them from your life.
We have all messed up. We have all made mistakes. Life is a more beautiful place when we can forgive and move on.
Keep no
record of
wrongs
GOOD V. EVIL
February 13, 2015 Friday
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
Hello Beautiful,
First Corinthians 13:6, says that love does not delight in evil but it rejoices with the truth. We could spend weeks discussing this part of our “love” journey. This could be incorporated into many areas of our relationships.
However, today I will share just a few examples and you can take it from there. Ponder it and discover more ways that you can use this in your life.
In a loving relationship, what does not delighting in evil but rejoicing with the truth mean?
Example #1: Gossip. It is a common thing these days to hear friends gossip about each other. However, gossip is a very hurtful thing and is normally wrong or false information being passed around. So when your friends start gossiping about another friend around you, instead of joining in, rejoice in the good qualities of that friend that is being discussed.
Example #2: Lying. When you are upset, jealous or angry at someone - you have that urge to deface their name or make them look bad so you say something harsh about them, even though it may not be true. Or you do not want someone you know to like or be friends with them so you deceive them by telling them lies. Just spit the truth. You will feel better if you do.
Example #3: Wishing evil upon your “enemies.” I understand that we will not get along with everyone. We have different personalities and they sometimes clash. However, it is important that we never think or wish anything evil to happen to those that we do not get along with.
I think we get the picture from these examples. It is important to speak, think and act right towards everyone. Rejoicing with their accomplishments but never being the one to push them. That is a beautiful life.
Have a Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow, beautiful.
Rejoice
with the
truth
PROTECTION
February 15, 2015 Sunday
Love
always
protects
Hello Beautiful,
The love of a mother is a powerful thing. If you are a mother, I am sure you have some extraordinary stories of times that you became "super mom" when you felt like one of your children was in danger. Or if you are not a mother, you could probably recall a time when your mother “freaked out,” trying to protect you.
The reason I speak of mom's today is, I believe they understand this portion of love more than most of us. 1 Corinthians 13:7 says that "Love always protects." There are many levels or protection but when we love someone we go out of our way for their safety, even as far as laying down our lives.
I will give two examples of love protecting, from saving a reputation to saving a life.
Instead of looking for LOVE in 2015, let us learn how to love
As a little girl, in elementary school, I was "popular." (I am not sure how I was because when I got older I became invisible lol but that is another story). My sister was in the grade above me, but she always had people picking on her. What is worse, those people would make fun of her right to my face. I was always scared to stick up for her. I don't know if it was because I was scared of losing friends or just because I'm not good at confronting people. Nevertheless, I would always feel bad that I didn't do anything about it. As I've grown up, people still like to talk about her, sometimes (because people are just jerks). I have not gotten better at sticking up for her with my words but as soon as anyone starts to talk about her (or anyone else in my family), righteous anger swells up inside of me quickly and the "death stare" (as I like to call it) overtakes my face. They shut up almost immediately and if they don't I start to growl lol (I'm actually quiet intimidating).
When I was in high school, my mom and I were outside one night. We were laughing and having fun together. Out of no where, she hears some rustling in the bushes, with her super sonic hearing and she turns into Monster Mom. (I think she would be worse than a mother alligator or momma bear.) With an otherworldly voice, she demands that the person make themselves known. Long story short, it was the security guard of the place that we were walking at, so no real danger for us. But if he had hesitated one minute longer, my mom could have torn his head off in one foul swoop. I mean she was even scaring me and I was on her side. She has never played or hesitated when it comes to protecting one of her kids.
This is what it means when it says that love protects. It is saying that you will do what it takes to save face for one you love. You will stand up for them when people are talking trash or when they are in danger. Love always protects, beautiful.
YOU DON'T TRUST ME?
February 18, 2015 Wednesday
Love
always
trusts
Hello Beautiful,
One of the most hurtful things that can happen in a relationship is learning that your better half does not trust you.
Relationships are built on trust. I trust you, therefore I am willing to let you into my life. I can share my feelings, fears and hopes with you knowing that you will not criticize or spread the news.
Life happens. We lose trust in certain people because of situations that may be out of our control. When trust has been lost, it is hard to trust again. When you love someone, you want to trust them no matter what the facts say, no matter what you see. You want to believe that they are still deserving of your trust.
Love always trusts. 1 Corinthians 13:7
Pop of color and a statement piece ... that's the way to go
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
3 Rules when it comes to relationships and trusting:
-
Try, try again. To keep a relationship going it is important to allow trust to be built back up when it has been lost, no matter how hard it may be.
-
Be smart. It is important not to enter into a relationship when you cannot fully trust someone. If you cannot trust someone completely before you get into a relationship, it will only get worse after you are in the relationship.
-
Keep trusting. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a while and they have never given you reason not to trust them, do not listen when people try to tell you otherwise. If they do slip up, forgive them and both of you move on from the experience.
Someone who is unfaithful will most likely remain that way no matter who they are in a relationship with. Someone who has been faithful may slip up (because, hello, we are humans) but will regret it greatly and will not likely make the same mistake again.
Please, beautiful, be cautious of why and who you enter into a relationship with. Who you give your heart to. Who you love. If you cannot trust them than move on quickly.
HOPE
February 20, 2015 Friday
Bundling up with a chunky sweater in this cold weather
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
Hello Beautiful,
Love. Always. Hopes.
Love hopes the best for someone. Love does not lose hope in someone. Love continues hoping in a relationship, in a marriage.
Why does love always hope?
There is only one good answer for that question. Without hope, we stop believing, we stop caring. Progress stops. And, in some cases, love for the individual will stop.
Say that you hope your son or daughter will come to know Christ. You pray fervently for them to find the truth. You believe that all things are possible through Christ.
Then, your child gets involved with the wrong crowd. They change. They start smoking, drinking, cussing up a storm. The only time they communicate with you is by yelling. You feel lost and afraid, on the verge of losing hope. But you must not lose hope.
You could be the only person out there that is still hoping in them. Praying for them. The prayers of a righteous person avails much. I cannot even count the number of times I have heard of mothers who have prayed for their children for years, never losing hope. Finally, someone was able to reach their child and bring them to Christ.
Hope is that last thread that you hold onto that keeps you from going crazy.
Hope is something that I always seem to be holding onto for dear life. It is always there, in every difficult, different situation.
Hope is such a crucial element in relationships. That is why 1 Corinthians 13 directs us to never lose hope.
Keep hoping, beautiful.
Love
always
hope
PERSEVERANCE
February 23, 2015 Monday
Love
always
pushes through
Hello Beautiful,
No one ever said life was going to be easy. I used to believe it was supposed to be when I was young and naive. Life has a way of knocking us off our feet, throwing some tough curve balls and literally messing everything up.
I would say I have had a pretty average amount of hardships in my life. Some were from my family and some were from friends. Some were from other circumstances.
When hard times come, as they always will, the easiest thing to do is give up. You just got married and now you've had your first fight. What do you do? You work through it. You do not throw in the towel.
Love your fabulous self!!
Since the start of this year, I have been faced with one big challenge after another. No, scratch that, multiple challenges at the same time, non stop. It has been so hard for me. Never have I wanted to give up so much in my life. I don't just want to give up on one thing. I'm ready to quit everything. Start life over as a different person. I don't understand the season that I am in. But it is difficult to keep going. The only reason I have kept going is because if I gave up, I would have nothing to look forward to or live for.
In wanting to give up, I want to stop loving. Everyone. My family, my friends, even the one person that makes my life so bright. But I've never been a quitter. I can't stop loving people. That is ingrained into the very core of who I am.
In today's world, we do not see love persevering often. Divorce is so common a thing. I wonder why people even get married anymore. If they even slightly consider divorcing that person, why marry them. That makes no sense to me. The last part of 1 Corinthians 13:7 says that, "Love always perseveres."
I wonder what that looks like. I wonder what a lifetime love looks like? Not a one night stand. Not a man that has been divorced three times over. Children that have had multiple "fathers." People that can't make up their mind of whether they want to stay or go.
I ask this because I have not seen this type of love. I believe that it exists. I read stories about older couples that love each other more and more every day and have been married for 50+ years. What would that be like? That is the kind of love that I long for. The love that perseveres no matter the situations that life throws at you. This is the kind of love that I am willing to give to the one that my soul loves.
This is the kind of love that I encourage you, beautiful, to love with.
FAILING
February 25, 2015 Wednesday
Love -
in this
together
Hello Beautiful,
As much as we try and as much as we would like to be perfect, we all will fail. We will fail ourselves, we will fail those we love. There is no way around it but it is also not an excuse to fail and to give up without even trying.
Today ends our discussion on the topic of love. The last part of the love text that we were examining is from 1 Corinthians 13:8, “Love never fails.”
In relationships, yes, you will fail. You will fail miserably. You will break their heart. They will break yours.
I think there is one big failure that this passage is referring to. That ultimate failure is TO GIVE UP ON THEM AND LEAVE. If you do not even try, if you do not even put any effort into the fight, you just give up, you just quit. You lose hope in them, in yourself. It is too hard. They are too different. You are too different. Things have changed. When we reach this point, this is where we fail at loving.
As long as we keep pushing forward in this race, together, we will never fail completely.
Photo of Karissa Hagemeister
As long as we hold true to all the other points of love that we have covered this month, we will not make it to this point of failure.
Nobody ever said love was easy. In fact, everyone always tells me how hard it is. I will never know how hard it is until I have that someone to love and hold for the rest of my life. But I will go in with my eyes wide open. Aware that there will be challenges. Aware that they are human and I am human. But also aware that I signed up for the “for life” deal and I will not do the “ultimate fail” on them.
I do not write to bash anyone who has gone through a divorce. My parents did. I know the scars and the pain that it brings. I also know it is possible to work it out and never ultimately fail the one that you agreed to live the rest of your life with.
This is a love challenge. I challenge you to love with your whole heart. Hold nothing back. Never give up. You two were made to work it out together. I believe in you, beautiful. You once believed in this relationship, see if you can find that again.
TURN UP THE JOY
February 27, 2015 Friday
Love is ...
Hello Beautiful,
As the month of love comes to an end, so does the topic of love for us here at Bringing Beautiful Back. We hope that you learned and grew from the blogs this past month. We are growing right along with you.
I do not know if you experienced any of this but it seemed as I was trying to work on the different levels of love that we discussed that the harder it became for me. My love for certain individuals was getting tested. I don’t think I passed some of those tests. That can be very discouraging but we must remember that we are all human. As long as we are giving it our best, we should not beat ourselves up if we do not succeed every time.
As we move out of February and into March, we open up a new topic of discussion. I want you to keep what you have learned so far about Worth and Love and now start incorporating Joy into your daily lives.
Joy is the new topic for the month of March. As we have done with the past two months, these blogs are being written to give you more ways to enhance the beauty of your everyday life. I hope you find them encouraging, insightful and it opens up a new form of joy for you.
I would love to hear from you. Give me your feedback, questions. Tell me your story. I will pray for you if you need prayer. I will laugh with you and I will cry with you. I would love to build a friendship with you so contact me anytime.
Life is a beautiful thing and you, my dear, are part of this beautiful life.
Moving
on to
JOY
